Stories of old

In the stories of old
you would have swept
that blonde little maiden of her feet
while I swept the dirty
cracked kitchen floor

I would have admired
just looking from afar
taking a few glances from under my lashes
then sighed and carried
on in my chores

In the stories of old
you'd have ridden past
on your glossy white steed blanking me
and I'd have pulled
at the ass behind -"pfft men"

I would have trudged home
almost barefoot, watched her
as she sauntered out decked in your gold
I'd have envied but
I'd never have spoken out

and I might have believed
all those myths from the past
I might have watched you walk past,
not grabbed the reigns
and turned you to look at me

But I'm not judged by my beauty
I'd fail to win any competition if I was
and I don't expect pretty baubles
or gold encrusted glass slippers
Simple souls don't need the big ball gowns

Do you really think resembling a fairy
(or one of those dolls that cover a loo roll) appeals to me?
and as much as I like to swim, I never did like fishy tales
don't sit me on a throne; don't give me a matching tiara
I don't want your gifts

I won't ask for this dance
I wouldn't put you through the pain
me and my two left feet, (treat them with caution)
No I'm not asking to be princess nor queen
I'm not actually asking anything of you

In the stories of old
I'd never have been able to tease and torment you
I'd have been strung up tighter than the corsets
they'd have made me wear
if they'd even had a whiff of such goings on

No in the stories of old
I'd have been the dirty faced girl
the black sheep, the outspoken whore
lucky then isn't it that neither you or me
follow those rules anymore

but you see in the stories of old
you'd never have been a prince
you'd probably have been a pirate, or a rogue
someone who'd have wooed me roughly
moved me, loved me, all against my will

In stories of old and fairy tales alike
there's always a happy ending
but when is there ever always a happy ending in life ?
"Happily ever after" they say
but where is the fun in that?

No trials and tribulations
No Heroine or Hero ever got
anywhere with out a few problems
that's the thing about those pesky story tellers
they make life too easy

Happily never after folks
I think it's time we made our own story
maybe just this once...