I'm No Toy

I want to be more now
I'm done wasting time,
sick of waiting, for you.
It's unfair the way you
toy with me, it's unbearable,
it's like I'm worthless

You don't own me.
You believe you do but
I'm my own property
and your filthy maulers
would only create dirty
stains on my clean skin.

Your tilted, half-a-smile,
can send those insects
fluttering in my stomach,
but they're misguided.
I mean they've flown
into carnivorous plants,

been consumed by monsters.
You're nothing special.
Hard to believe isn't it,
but I finally believe it's true.
Normally my beliefs mean nothing
but now...they do.

We are at opposite poles,
worlds apart, separated
by an invisible spectrum
but I'm not missing you
I feel free. I felt lost.
Now I don't; how simple.

My life isn't controlled,
isn't monitored, isn't stable.
However it's my roller coaster
and I have decided, finally
that I'm not lacking anything
or missing any spare part.

So now I'm going to be more
and this time I won't doubt
myself, I'll ride life unhindered.
Nothing will block my tracks
and If I want to scream
and feel the adrenaline, I will.

I'm climbing slowly upward,
my arms are outstretched,
the fear has my blood pumping
and I finally reach the tip
then I plummet. Independently,
I fall. Now I'm more.