"yours to the end of life's story"

"I've never loved anyone the way I love you

how could I, when I was born to be just yours"



This melody is interrupting my thoughts

and it's the sweetest, prettiest little rhyme

it's invaded my every day dream and

my last little moments before I sleep

and it's become the happiest moment as I wake



The song written so long ago, in a time of

true love, true affection, true meaning

we don't have that anymore, it's such a shame

because a promise has stopped meaning

anything, it's useless, completely obsolete


"Yours" she sings as almost a lullaby

the song's like my little piece of heaven

my little piece or honesty and hope.

Can I fine someone that makes

"the glory of the stars" look pale?



I swear I was born in the wrong era

60 years too late, I don't feel like this

about music that's written now

this little melody beats any single

from recent years, because you never



find a melody anymore. How Ironic

you barely ever find true love either

"born just to be yours" I'll keep thinking

a soul mate, I'll keep wishing and smiling

"yours to the end of life's story" I'll keep waiting

The moment when I look through you....

you know there will be a moment
where you are looking straight at me
and I won't see you, I'm going to be blind
to your presence; to anyone's for that matter

and you'll all cry and I'll be oblivious
I won't be able to speak up and ask
"What's wrong, who hurt you"
I won't be able to make it better

There will be a moment where
you see me and I don't respond
where I stop moving and I'm finally
free, from the body that's hindered me

there will be a moment where you see me
and I won't see you, where you hold me
for the last time and after the last agonising breath
I fall still, and no one knows what's next

I've been so scared, in so much pain
every breath laboured, you won't see
the agonised me anymore, you might
remember me as a happy yougster

as the cheeky beggar that kept you smiling
as the little fighter that never let go of life,
up till now that is, but it's inevitable isn't it?
It didn't stop me being scared

I hope you never have to know,
the pain of looking at a family member and
thinking I'll never see you again
I hope you never have to worry over the time,

over what you have left, oh it's been difficult
and long, the longest moments of my life
and there will be a moment where
you are all looking at me and

I won't look back at you, but I'm not ignoring you
I'll always love you, always be with you
I just can't hold you and cherish you
with the body laid infront of you anymore

So look back at me, stop those tears now
I'm here, just beyond your sight
just beyond your understanding
always loving and missing you from afar

My Magnolia Walls

Sat here, in this chair
looking at my magnolia walls
wondering why I never hung a picture
or painted a vibrant colour.

I always thought of it
as my blank canvas
the time to decorate would come;
eventually. I'd bide my time till then.

So I've stayed in my chair
looking at my wood panel flooring
watching the dark thick dust cover
everything, even me, watching it settle

I've even watched, as condensation
trickles, making ripples down the window
all from my lounging position, watched
the growing cobwebs cover the panes

I feel like I am stagnating,
like the water in a mucky pool
can I pull myself out, am I strong enough
I'm sick of being the lonely, lady in the lake

So slowly it'd be painful to watch
I grip the chair arm and push away.
Finally, I am away from the chains
which gripped and bound me so painfully

my feet drag through the dust
as I walk toward those dusky windows
and I force, with a power I never knew I had
those rusty old latches open, and in floats the breeze

out blow those dark and shadowy cobwebs
the dust at my feet shudders in protest
it swirls around, awoken from it's slumber
interrupted in it's lazy, idle dreaming

and I'm moving now, towards the door
through it to the old cupboards.
There, no dig deeper, there found them
my sweeping brush and my pots of paint

So I sweep, and I remove the last
of those silky, snares of web,
remove the last of the dust.
I open the paint can and look up,

look up at my blank canvas and
pick up the pot, tear the lid off
and throw splashes and spatters of bright paint
upon the once bare, magnolia walls.

smiley days and mischeif

I don't have fun like this with anyone else,
you lot make me giggle and laugh -often a tad too loud!
We make mischief, we are relentlessly searching for fun
and we pick on a certain person in the group
"love you really" we say and he looks at us all in disbelief,
then we attack his ears a bit more, and I'm laughing...again

I realised pretty quickly who the literary genius was-
the things that she writes give me cold shivers
and the mathematician/musician, "Einstein who?"
the world hasn't seen anything yet,
these two are going to be great, cynical and frank as they are,
by the time these two are through Jesus won't know what hit him

Then there's you my little cutie, the quiet (est) one of us
You are our little red headed monster; you silently attacked
and now you are solidly in our hearts, it's never changing either,
your little giggle and eye scrunching smile makes us all chuckle.
Hey did you think I'd missed you lad? No you aren't that lucky
We don't care what you did before! You make a certain lyrical genius smile

and you make the rest if us laugh, we've never had a dull moment with you.
Oh and I mustn't forget the loudest of my friends;
A girl can't get one minute of piece, or a none-special bus journey
not with you around anyway, life's hard but we all work through it
and naturally you are all there backing me, stopping me from falling
and I'm always there for you- even if you live so far away it's difficult
I can always get there, always, especially for my favourite sister

because life wouldn't be the same without you.
We have smiley days, grumpy days and upsetting days, together.
One thing life will never be with you is bland, boring or god forbid, quiet.

Mount Vesuvius

If you think you can change me, you are wrong
I've seen it all now, I've been to Mount Vesuvius and back
I've mustered the courage to walk in deserted lands
I've been there done that and you can't change it now

I'm as independent as they come. I thought you knew.
I thought you realised I didn't need you, I just wanted you.
You can't replace the holding hands I already have
they steady me more than you ever could, they don't try to dominate

I've seen some scary sights, but I've never seen a man die
it's funny looking at you I'm tearing away your soul
by simply saying "No, I won't be restrained"
it's worse that I find it amusing; killing the part of your soul I hold,

that means we never meant anything
sad really, you thought I'd change for you
not just compromise but force myself to be
someone, something that I'd hate- You fool

But like I've said before, I've been to Vesuvius and back
and you don't have enough of a hold over me
to make me stop, you never cared enough.
You never changed; so forget it because I won't

I think I'll go back to Italy soon, back to Vesuvius
ironic how a volcano helped me find my firey side
puzzling that a rock formation did what you never could
I'm not changing; I think I'll erode over time,
I'll grow ancient and throw a wobbler every so often.
Well it works for the damn volcano doesn't it ?

looking at the flowers, so pure

I'm sat here looking at the flowers
been here for a couple of hours
silence sweeps over me not even one foot step
creeps closer or threatens to upset
the silence, so pure, so pure

and it's in this place of absolute sincerity
that I find what you lack, loyalty.
Although I miss that beautiful smile
I'm not there to listen to you rant and rile
Because I'm in my place where I'm always sure

and I'm sat here looking at the flowers
been here for a couple of hours
silence sweeps over me not even one foot step
creeps closer or threatens to upset
the silence, so pure, so pure

The blossom upon my favorite tree
falls and sways closer to me
and I'm reminded, of those beautiful eyes
that covered up that awful guise

and I'm sat here looking at the flowers
been here for a couple of hours
silence sweeps over me, not even one foot step
creeps closer or threatens to upset
the silence, so pure, so pure

and it's in place that I truly and finally find me
and when you're prepared to see
you'll follow and glimpse what you lost
and realise that I have never been cross

and I'm sat here looking at the flowers
been here for a couple of hours

You can't see me for me

You can't see me for me
because I'm not showing you the real me.
Sorry, but no! That would be too scary
too real, that would mean,
that you actually meant something to me
and I can't go through the pain
of losing someone else

I'm sick of it, alright? I'm not like the others.
I won't share these feelings,
it'd hurt too much to tell you!
I know I'd be rejected and I can't stand it,
it makes me feel so small,
so stupid and insignificant

I can be intelligent but never a beauty
and you deserve a beauty not some
wreck like me, someone who doesn't know,
who they are and
who can't tell you what she wants
and you know it as well, that's why
I won't share these feelings

I will get hurt my head keeps telling me.
How do you drown out your own thoughts?
You know music won't work
I've tried every genre from
the sweetest melody to the hardest rock
and nothing, nothing removes the doubt

Why I have to feel like this is beyond me
'I can do it' I will myself; then I fall
at the last ruddy hurdle
and it hurts it leaves unseen cuts
Bruises that are miles deep
on skin that won't show the pain

You know it wouldn't matter,
if you were just some other person
but you aren't, you are you and
even though at times you infuriate me
beyond belief; you also make me laugh
and you make me cry as well

anything that is powerful enough to
encourage so much emotion from me,
can only be good for me I tell myself
and then I look at you and the pain
over rides all my senses and the
confusion messes with my head

Now you are the scariest thing alive
because you actually make me feel
My goodness I'm terrified
nothing has ever scared me so much
than to just feel. Of course you
wouldn't understand that would you ?
Because you are always so damn strong

and you are never bloody well wrong
and nine times out of ten I feel like
a child when I'm with you
because you make me feel things
I never knew existed it's like
the scariest nightmare and the best fairy tale

Monster

You want me to sit here and listen to you???
I refuse to! You bully, you have a short fuse.
You use aggression to gain the advantage
You pursue a person's only fear and turn it into
a weakness, a disability, a mistake.

You know listening to you,
that has been my only weakness
You are the extreme, with your unfaltering pace
you head towards one thing only,
Anarchy


Your manipulation, that sinister expression
may hurt someone else,
but I'm happy in the knowledge
that you will fall from the ruins
of your self made pedestal


and when you land it will be at my feet.
You will have to look up and meet my gaze
and undertstand the force of my thoughts
just for a change


and as the flames lick slowly
at all you built and reduces everything
to just you, alone, the minority.
You will realise I won and you lost.

You will realise the methods
of motvation I use, trust and care,
produce better results, than the terror you inflict.
You monster


Well now we rule the majority rule.
Just this once you have lost.
How does it feel to be the one
who is trodden on for a change?

Oh but justice is sweet
look at you, at how far you've fallen
from grace
Now you aren't a terrifying sight
you are just the losing side of our battle

A disturbing after thought
that occasionally invades a person's mind.
Oh yes they've nearly all forgotten the horrors
the ones you caused; the majority refuse,
refuse to be ruled,
ruled by the fear you once instilled

No longer do you hold power !
Do you hear me ?
No more will you influence the people,
those that stood by you have fled
hahahaha it's a hard and lonely life, for you now

Enjoy isolation...............

Mirror Image

I don't think you've realised
just how much I've changed.
since meeting you, I'm a happier person
I'm called outgoing now not strange

I wonder whether you've noticed
that since meeting you
I can look in the mirror and smile
I can walk down the street,
this head, held high

I wonder whether you know
Yes! You, with the unruly brown hair
since meeting you I've grown,
more caring, more open, more me.


You with the lovely grey, blue eyes
and the luscious smile, that's contagious
You've made me happy
I don't cry anymore

Did you miss me?
It's been a while, almost a decade.
When we reunited
I'd been gone an awful long time

Oi you! Look back at me, your reflection
you've got me now
your confidence, shouldn't be low anymore
I know the girl behind the eyes too

Look back at me!
your mirror image
and tell me I don't look good
Look at you!

All the things they say
they are true,
but they aren't hurting you anymore
they want to make you smile

So smile at me!
No not that fake one
that's it believe in me, in us,
now take a step back
and turn around
You are on your own now!

Silence...

The Devils daughter

If you were real, I bet you'd have
blood red eyes and olive skin
Red curls that fell just right
You'd be promiscuous and strangely thin

Your curves would entice.
You'd simply pierce a man in two
with eyes that draw blood
You'd be fierce with fangs and scars
but you'd most certainly be you

You'd cackle at fire,
be enthralled by the Gothic
Wage war on your father
and have temper that could kill
You'd ne'er be bashful
and by god would a man follow your will

You'd screech and you'd squawk,
howl and play hell, if ever a lad
mentioned that ominous wedding bell
You'd fear nothing,
for what could be worse
than being princess of hell ?