You can pick a rose,
but it can still make you bleed.
You can tame an animal,
but it still has the capacity to bite.
You can hit me,
but guess what I'll hit back harder.
You can leave me,
but I'll find someone else.
You can hate me
but I'll just smile through it all.

Imagine,
If I was a stronger person, I could create my path.
Suppose,
that everything I ever worked for, was worth nothing, to every one else.
Believe,
I will make it work out. Even if that's only for me!

Keep Smiling

There's a magnitude of pointless things
which will always alude me.
I cannot for instance make everyone
happy,
not always not ever actually.
It is pointless trying.

I'm an uncaring bitch;
well that's what I sound like
There are alot of things I'm scared of
I'm scared to love anyone
I'm scared of hurting people
I'm scared of a spirralling life.
because it's not just one spiral it's hundreds
all interlinking, some losing touch.

I'm losing the grip of hands.
Hard, almost clawed hands which keep me in place.
I'm missing the sharp bite of a slick tongue.
The sarcasm, the truths that no one else
would dare tell me but you.
There's another pointless question
why do people always have to leave?

Do you know why I'm making it pointless?
Because I just don't have the answers.
That doesn't make me uncaring,
Because I'm just as irrationally scared as anyone else,
it makes me as in the dark as every
other living soul on this planet.
Like being a mouse in a hundred acres of corn fields.
Just small. Insignificant even.

My tiny, insignificant little spiral
will touch so many other people's.
I will always smile and always be friendly.
I will always care and
yet I will always, ultimately, be afraid
of the some things and nothings.

The waiting game

So what you're telling me is if I wait long enough
it's all going to fall into place ?
like some magic jigsaw, that's got a timer on it
set to breaking point?
and when it feels like they've crushed every cell
every piece of your heart worth having
that's when the waiting game ends ?

Is that what you want me to believe?
That I have to test every boundary
of my strength both mental and physical
before I know they are right for me ?
That it doesn't just work!
It can never just fall into place!

Why the hell should I ?
That's the kind of high maintenence I hate!
I make all the effort, be the decisive one
is that it ?
I have to decide everything every detail.
Where's the fun in that ?

If you can be alone in company I'm doing it
If you can feel like every kiss is just sealing
a fate that ends in falling apart, I have.
If you can see with your eyes that
you're watching them while they watch someone else,
welcome to my world...
The waiting game is such a lonely road.